a favorite.

you guys. New Year's is my favorite holiday. FAVORITE.
everyone seems to think this is strange so allow me to explain...

1) the entire world celebrates

    honestly it is probably the closest we will ever come to world peace! I remember watching the ball drop on television one year and "imagine" by J. Lennon was playing and I just sobbed-like full on wepttttt. The night sky was full of confetti and everyone was making out under the lights in times square and then the network flashed to fireworks booming in Japan and flags waving in Canada and dancing in Germany and I'll never ever forget it.

2)it was fun when I was young

   I would spend the night out in the country at Charlee's house (childhood best friend). We would dress up (wear a wedge we couldn't walk in and wear a little lip gloss) and go to dinner (Macaroni Grill) with her parents. After dinner we came home and drank out of goblets full of mountain dew. We ate chips with salsa and sour cream, and SO.MUCH. dessert (sometimes still hungry after our healthy feast we ate our leftover pasta from dinner). We would watch the ball drop beneath the glow of the Christmas tree while holding her dachshund Oscar, and talk about our big 7th grade goals, and finally end the night with a go to sleep movie (normally A Walk to Remember). this tradition lasted quite a while you guys-I was very cool in high school....

3)it is so freaking romantic

    kisses in evening gowns in the snow, babies being born, showing up at 12:00 to confess love, finally breaking up, proposing, champagne and chocolate...you get it.

4)the clothes

   helllooooo sparkle shoes! Hi tutu! how you doing red lipstick? what up glitter eye shadow?? what's happening tuxedo?

5)hope

   we all hope for good things together, and that is wonderful. I love how blank you feel the very next morning. I love the tv marathons and radio talks and gym memberships and being sleepy/hungover/happy/covered in glitter with your pals.


each year I seem to find words I go over and over and over-this year it was these:

2014 was hard and far and away  more wonderful than I could have dreamed up. I moved to New York City and pushed myself and freed myself and got my heartbroken and felt more joy than ever before and even got a dog! I'm truly excited for 2015.

I've even found my words: "Hope comes as a companion; she slips her arm around your shoulder and offers to help you stumble towards change."
(Patsy Clairmont-from Mammaw)

chirp chirp

sooo I've been away...
honestly things got really busy around here (which is a lame thing to say but very true)
anyway here we are
I'm back
 talking with you as much as you care to listen.

I just saw Reese Witherspoon interviewed about her new production company and movie "Wild."
just an f.y.i. if you haven't read Wild you should-it's one of THE most amazing books I've ever read. A few months later I'm still gaining insight because of it!
anyways she said something interesting-she said:
"I feel like my perspective matters, and I really didn't before."

it really got me thinking.
my words count-duh-I shouldn't feel weird sharing them from time to time. I think women are programmed to apologize for their opinions from a very young age.
"don't be too bossy" "don't make boys feel intimidated" "don't be too loud or emotional"
 "always be aware of the image you are presenting to others" "you aren't as smart as ..."

this is one reason acting is so special to me-your feelings and your words are always right.
so here I am with my perspective, ready to give this one more try before 2015 sweeps in and chaos ensues.

here are a few snapshots from my december.

I didn't think I would be able to travel to Mississippi for Christmas due to work which was pretty heartbreaking until.... dun dun dunnnn.... I found out I had the week of Christmas off!  I flew home one day after seeing the schedule with Elvis in tow :) He loves to fly apparently? like really-this dog was so happy in the airport and on the plane-super weird because y'all...he's very neurotic. I thought this might be a disaster, but we got there not only safely, but  in great moods! Merry Christmas

 I got in some much needed family and Tiger Lily time.

Here's the thing-no one in New York City is actually normal. 

It is the best and worst part of living here. Each day there is non stop stimulation as you walk around and extreme work pressure for everyone (I saw a guy get screamed at over fries once at dairy queen) and SO MUCH commuting-60% of my day is spent traveling to wherever I'm trying to go- alongside half a million strangers and 80 thousand street performers and 68 hundred hobos. It takes me six blocks and two trains just to go to work, and that is almost every day of the week. 

 I should mention that I love living here!! Please don't think of this as a whine entry, I just want to stress I'm tired! This wonderful, bursting city can wear you down quickly. 

I loved going home, let me be more specific...

I loved driving alone in my car with the radio up.

I loved that every meal was from somewhere I cherish and constantly miss eating. 

I loved having my conversations count because I'm never face to face with those I love.

I loved waking up in my bed each morning in my room in my big house, not a tiny apartment with three people and two dogs all in a rush.

I loved the look on Elvis' face when he saw how many trees there were in our neighborhood.

I loved the look on Elvis' face when he learned what a neighborhood was.

I loved staying up late and watching movies with Mama near the Christmas tree glow.

I loved giving everyone their presents from New York.

I loved laughing with my cousins who are somehow, all grown up?

It was a perfect holiday.

 I'm back in the city now post holiday wearing my tutu as a personal cheer me up.

 The city is still dressed in holiday cheer which makes being far away and cold so much easier.  I have met some amazing people through work-people that have come from everywhere to see New York at Christmas time. Just yesterday, I spoke with two Australian girls (aka beauties aka looked like supermodels aka can we be best friends because you guys are the coolest aka laughed with total strangers for two hours)  who are in New York for the entire month. They booked it spontaneously because they felt like they needed to invite in a major change. They said they felt like New York was going to bring in a dazzling 2015, a better year-all of their hopes were wrapped up in each corner and random experience here to be remembered for the rest of their lives.

I walked around my little brooklyn neighborhood tonight and saw such a big, beautiful sky.  I'm lucky to live here and to follow my dreams. I pray that 2015 is dazzling-passing all hopes I could strive for. I guess I stay here because I'm in love with that possibility-anything can happen here that's just the truth. It's true I'm missing everyone (always harder when I first get back), but Elvie and I went on a walk tonight under such a beautiful sky and I couldn't help but feel ok. I feel like this all matters-my perspective, my journey, my 2015 it matters.

December

 

OH hello December!

(want to have some fun? google "cat in christmas tree" &

if you are really brave google " cats destroy christmas tree")